Archee Pal

I don't remember the last time I was loved. But today, when you came close, I felt those little butterflies in my stomach again. It was a feeling of wry that if I should've let you touch my body or feel the pious soul. Things were good for the time untill we met and then I couldn't feel my heartbeat anymore. You said a good-bye before leaving and all I could do was hold you closer and kiss you on the lips. It was smooth and you reciprocated. It was more a kiss of love than that of good-bye and I couldn't smell the warmth of it. We kept moving on the unoccupied streets and with my hand in yours, you suddenly whispered 'I don't know if I love you, but I'd continue with whatever it is' I held you tighter because your words were just echoes of something in the past. Soon I wondered if I should think of it as an echo or a new voice with the same intensity? Confessing my fear for our first kiss wouldn't be a crime I guess? I'm really afraid if you'

  You and me are more like the railway tracks that stay together, forever, but never meet! Even my imagination fails when it comes to us. I just can't imagine us together. I've no clues of why and there's probably no reason for it too. I just know that he would never be mine because the past he's pinned down by the past. I don't want to take him out from it. I can but I won't. Why would I ask him to love me? Love cannot be an alm . Let it never happen from his side and mine too. I'm not sure of my feelings. I don't have expectations from him and there's something unusual this time that is I just cannot imagine myself with anyone else either. When someone says love, it's his name that flashes before my eyes and then, I say I don't know if I love him. Maybe I'm just telling this to myself again and again so that it will be easier to accept that he'd too leave one day and I should be prepared for it. Now It's just sleepless n